Alaskan Poles

Well I decided it was time for another story. Unfortunately, I have not come up with a story on my daughter yet, but I will. My husband had warned the kids about several things when we moved to Alaska. Well, we grew up in Nebraska and knew what could happen in the winter if you weren't careful. Most of the kids in Alaska had had a spot on their lips from where the top of the metal zipper would flip up and stick to their lips. Well one morning after Gary had repeatedly told the kids never to lick the metal poles and try to get the ice. It was 7 am and the boys were dressed in their parkas, snowpants, boots, mittens, and hats. I sent them outside so they would not get overheated. Well the oldest one "B" evidently decided not to listen to the very sound advice his father had given him. He went to the neighbors railing and decided to lick the pole. He is out their screaming at the top of his lungs leaning over the pole. "M" went out the door and then comes running in saying "B" is stuck to the pole. I was involved in trying to get kids, lunches, and school supplies out the door and wasn't really listening. I went out to tell him to stop screaming at that hour of the morning. When I leaned over him I saw he was stuck to the pole. I went into yell at my husband that "B" was stuck to the pole. Dad, being the sensitive man that he is, pulls him off the pole instead of dripping water on his tongue to get him off. Needless to say "B" couldn't talk for two weeks, nor could he eat except through a straw for two weeks. He had frost bite on his tongue!!!
Along the same lines, we had a teacher who used a whistle to call her students in from class. The whistle was metal. It was winter and she called her class in from recess. You got it! The whistle stuck to her lips. So here she was in the bathroom dripping warm water on her lips to get the whistle unstuck from her lips.
Needless to say, Alaska is one tour of duty I will not soon forget.

Children can be Embarrassing

Well I decided I have a few minutes and considered it time for another story. When ever you think your kids have really embarrassed you, then think about this story and thank your lucky stars because it could always be worse. I do have to say not only was our youngest the most loving of children, but he has always been outgoing and always was entertaining.
We lived in Alaska and had been attending church in a place called Moose Creek. (Yes there is such a place in Alaska as well as one called North Pole. Yes I did think my husband was taking us to the end of the world. I was not a fan of going to Alaska. I could only think it would be cold and you can't imagine how cold 70 below is until you have lived it.) I digress down rabbit trails. Well we were looking to change churches and there was a new church being started by a parent of one of my students. We decided to help them get started and ultimately decided to make this our home church. Although after this story I am not sure why we would show our face again. Anyway, we had been going there for a few weeks. We had to meet in the pastors living room. He stood at the front of the room and we were lined up facing him. The only bathroom was behind where he was standing. We had just finished singing and it was quiet. Pretty soon I hear "Mommy" being yelled. I looked at my husband and we were both hoping it was not our son calling, because that would mean we had to get up infront of all those people to see what the problem was. Everyone was still being very quiet and I hear again a call from that bathroom, "Mommy" being yelled. I am praying that my husband will get up and he is praying that I will get up. Since we neither of us moved the call comes a third time with added information. "Mommy, come wipe my butt." Well at this the entire church started laughing, I am turning red, because of course my husband won't get up, after all he had called for Mommy and not Daddy. Needless to say I had to get up and walk infront of all those people while facing the pastor. That was bad enough, but I knew I would have to walk out of the bathroom and actually face all those people.
Now as you pick yourself up, wipe the tears from your eyes, and thank your lucky stars it wasn't you I will wait patiently for stories of how embarrassing your children can be. By the way, I fully intend to enlighten his children some day with how they can embarrass their father, but I am not sure they can top that. He was such a precocious child. I can laugh now, but didn't find humor in this moment in time.

The Table and the Lamp

Well here you go, you asked for it. The boys were horsing around in the living room with their father sitting there. According to Matt (I wasn't there when this was going on), he was sitting quietly on the couch watching TV when Brad decided to attack him. Needless to say the lamp that Aimee had made for me fell to the ceramic tile floor and the base broke. The stand that it was sitting on had a glass top. Dad now says "I told you to be careful and now you are going to be in trouble with your mom." Contrary to what my family thinks I had dusted the table, but I did not pick up the lamp to dust underneath because I was working several jobs and probably only gave it a lick and a promise, (like you girls haven't done the same thing). Several weeks later we were sitting in the living room watching the "Home Improvement" Show. The boys, all three, Dad, Matt, and Brad, began looking at each other and laughing hysterically. The show was about Mom going to work and Dad helping the kids with their homework and trying to find ways to make Mom's life easier. In the final scene he has programed the washer to automatically dispense soap, softener and clorox. All three of the boys were on the floor by this time and I was wondering what they were up to. I agree the show may have been a little funny, but not hysterically. Finally both Dad and Matt were looking at Brad and he was trying to look innocent. I walk over to Brad and have figured out by this time that something is up with the lamp. I go to pick up the lamp and it won't come off the table. I would have to say that all three of them are guilty. Well, looking back I guess it was pretty funny and Brad had to make me another lamp to replace the one he broke. Some how I think that one got broke at some time as well. Since everyone thinks we have some very funny stories I will post them from time to time. I guess I will work on the tongue and the pole the next time.